


Falling down

by midara_madara



Category: the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Smut, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, does anyone read straight fics here?, i guess shrug emoji, i guess?, it will get more complicated later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midara_madara/pseuds/midara_madara
Summary: Sometimes it takes just one hit to have yourself falling downdeep into the dark
Relationships: Uruha (the GazettE)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

As much as he loved touring and doing lives, he also appreciated the time off they had. There weren’t many occasions when he would actually take a break from music. Whereas the other band members were spending their time off sipping drinks at the beaches of Hawaii, he often found himself experimenting with different melodies in his home studio. Kouyou knew that he had a habit of spending too much time at home whenever he was allowed to, whether it involved making music, playing games of binge watching movies, so he decided to meet up with a group of his good colleagues at their usual meeting spot, a cozy izakaya hidden in Ebisu’s undergrounds.

The evening went just as he expected. At first they all congratulated him for the successful tour final that happened two days prior, they had a toast for the future of the band’s career, then they started discussing their jobs and daily lives while indulging themselves with beer and grilled meat. Even the quick visit at the bathroom was completely expected after a couple of drinks that he had, but what he absolutely didn’t think of, was hitting someone with the door on his way out of the bathroom.

‘Oh my, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’ he asked immediately, as the blood left his face when he saw a rather petite girl behind the door. He would be lying if he said that his hands didn’t start to shake with the sudden boost of adrenaline.

‘Ow…’ she mumbled in response and with a tiny bit of delay she shook her hand as if she just burned herself by touching the doorknob. ‘I’m fine’ she added, not even looking up at him, but instead eyeing her fingers cautiously.

‘Are you sure? I really didn’t think that someone would be there’ he said, concerned. Kouyou didn’t want to panic, but he was worried that he might have hurt her.

'Yeah, it’s okay’ the girl nodded, although there was a frown forming on her face. ‘Just… My finger kinda…’

Oh crap, he thought to himself, watching the girl as she tested the ability to move her fingers. They seemed to all work fine, except the index one. Again, he didn’t want to panic, but the way it bent at the joint made him sober up immediately.

‘We need to get you to the ER, it could be broken’ he decided and wanted to take a closer look at her hand, but she swayed a little to the side, leaning against the nearby wall. Her complexion might have been pale already, but everything in his mind told him that she could faint on the spot.

‘No need, it’s fine’ she repeated, but it didn’t convince him at all.

'I will call a cab, a doctor should take a look on that’ Kouyou decided, not being able to just leave the girl like that. Crap, he thought again.

‘But…’ she hesitated visibly, her brows furrowing in concern. She raised her gaze but still didn’t look at him, as if she was talking to someone over his shoulder. ‘Is it still open?’

He blinked, dumbfounded a bit. Peeking at the watch on his wrist and checking the time, he realized that it was the ER. It was open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

‘Yeah, why would it be closed?’

She shrugged and attempted to stand up straight, looking down at her hand again.

‘I will tell my friends that I have to get going and I will take you to the hospital, okay?’ he offered, catching himself gesticulating a bit excessively like he always used to.

‘Uh… Sure, Just let me use the bathroom first’ Kouyou nodded, watching the girl cautiously as she moved past him and, successfully this time, went through the door. He exhaled deeply and made his way towards the table he had been hanging out at, his body tingling with stress as that couple of beers evaporated from his bloodstream with the speed of light.

Telling his friends what happened was rather embarrassing, although they held back from making any sort of comments, so he grabbed his jacket and dialed the taxi. Waiting for the girl around the exit was the best option, giving her space and time to make a decision whether or not she trusted him enough to get in the cab with him. He saw her chatting with a group of friends, all of them looking quite fashionable, one girl’s magenta coloured hair appeared almost fluorescent in the direct spotlight of the lamp above her head. He raised his hand and waved at his new acquaintance when she looked around, baffled and probably looking for him.

‘Let's head outside, the taxi should be already there’ he said, opening the doors for her and letting her through. They both got inside the car.

‘How bad does it hurt?” he asked, trying to pick up a conversation, because the silence was too heavy for him. He felt horrible about the whole situation.

‘I don’t know’ she answered, head bowed and gaze probably locked at her hand. Her long, dark hair obscured her pale face as she hunched her back.

‘I’m really sorry’ he sighed, looking through the window to not bother her with his eyes. Last thing he wanted was her to think that he was some kind of creep. ‘I should have thought that someone could be on the other side.’

‘Yeah, me too. I should um… Pay attention. More.’

Her way of speaking was sort of peculiar, but he figured out that she might not be that fluent in Japanese. Which was quite weird, because her accent sounded quite on point for a foreigner. He didn’t want to be too pushy though, so he held back any questions for now, especially since she really didn’t seem in the mood for small talk. Hell, it was the most awkward eight minute ride Kouyou had in a while.

It was surprisingly empty at the hospital, not many people checking in with injuries on a Tuesday evening. Kouyou decided to be the one the explain the lady at the front desk what exactly has happened, but it was up to the girl to identify herself. She reached to her purse and fished out a passport, apparently figuring out that it would be easier for the woman to just write down all the information. He couldn’t help but wonder how good her language skills were, or at least he would give it a second thought, if the girl didn’t look like she was about to pass out on him. They were supposed to wait for the doctor to show up and he hoped that they won’t have to add a head injury or a concussion to the list.

‘Hey, hey. Sit down if you’re not feeling well, okay?’ he guided her lithe form to the nearby chair and frantically looked around searching for a water dispenser. There was one right in the corner, so he poured her a cup and put it in her left hand.

‘Thank you’ she stuttered barely audibly and downed the entire thing in a couple of hasty gulps. How drunk was she, exactly? She didn’t look completely sober, but her speech wasn’t slurred. Well, she had a couple reasons to be baffled though, the initial shock of being injured was first of them, and the fact that she was currently at hospital with a stranger coming right after that.

The girl got up as a short, chubby nurse called out a rather peculiar sounding name, which Kouyou didn’t quite catch.

‘I’ll be waiting here' he reassured, although he couldn’t be sure if she paid any attention to him, as she didn’t even bother to nod. He would assume it was kind of rude, but then she was probably confused and surely not completely sober, so he could understand the lack of reaction. He exhaled heavily, sitting down on the chair and resting his head on the wall behind him. That evening didn’t go all that well… He still didn’t know how to figure out this situation. If he really broke that girl’s finger, then she could easily sue him to get her compensations and that’s the last thing he needed.

He got up from his chair when he noticed her small silhouette exiting the treatment room.

‘How are you feeling? Is it broken?’ he asked, because that was the thing he was worried about the most. Not only in terms of getting sued, but also because he would really feel bad about hurting the girl. She seemed so skinny and fragile, that the bandage around her finger looked way too big, reminding him of a cartoonish glove.

‘I uh… I don’t know’ she exclaimed, shaking her head and giggling, much to his surprise. He guessed that it might have been caused by either the shock, or alcohol, or the confusion with Japanese language. Or all three combined. ‘Three weeks. I gotta have this on.’

‘Three weeks?’ he repeated. So it wasn’t probably broken, otherwise it would take way more than just a couple of weeks to heal. ’I’m really sorry. How about I treat you to a dinner to somehow repay this to you?’ he offered, trying to play his charming card, because that was the only thing that came to his mind. Seeing her skinny, pale face he really felt like that was least he could do.

‘Now? No, not really’ she muttered in response, not even glancing at him, instead trying to read the bill she held in her hand. That’s when he realized that he should be the one paying for it. He took it out of her bony fingers.

‘Let me cover that for you then’ he gave her a reassuring smile. How come she wasn’t paying attention to him, at all? It’s been one, maybe two times had she glanced at his face for split of a second. He doubted that she recognized him at this point, but he couldn’t even guess what her feelings were. Kouyou couldn’t even tell if she angry was at him, because her face was completely blank. And that really didn’t help his internal dithers. He called the taxi again, while handing over his credit card to the lady at the front desk.

‘Okay, so that’s done. The taxi is coming, wherever you’d like to go’ he said, pocketing his wallet and phone.

‘Wait, are we still in Ebisu? I live close, I could go home by train.’

‘No way’ he opposed right away. ‘I mean don’t get me wrong, but you look like you’re about to faint. I just want to make sure you’ll get home safely, okay?’

She went silent for couple of seconds, staring at the floor. For a moment he wondered if she understood what he said, but then she shrugged her shoulders and nodded, agreeing to his plan. They walked out of the hospital and waited outside in complete silence. His thoughts were racing, but at the same time his mind was vacant, without any idea what to say.

‘I didn’t even introduce myself to you’ he noticed finally, when they got into the cab for the second time this evening. He really didn’t want to part ways on a bad note, the experience was awkward enough as it was. ‘Is there any way for me to make up for this terrible first impression?’

‘I didn’t introduce myself either, so it’s not a super terrible one.’

He glanced at the girl, quite confused by her response and confident voice.

‘Well, I meant injuring your finger but I’m glad you’re so forgiving.’ he shot her a smile. The stress was slowly leaving his body, he was still feeling absolutely sorry, but he really wanted to be on good terms with the girl.

‘Right. That’s a bit more complicated’ she nodded, absentmindedly fidgeting with the rim of the bandage. That’s when Kouyou realized that her injury might in fact complicate many things in her life.

‘What do you do? Don’t you need any sick leave?’

‘You still didn’t introduce yourself’

He blinked. That wasn’t the answer he expected, but he took her point.

‘Kou’ he said, deciding to go by his nickname rather than full name. There was still a chance she would connect the dots and recognize him.

'Lorraine' she muttered and he could swear she could catch a glimpse of a smirk on her lips, before she turned her face away towards the window.

'Nice to meet you, Lorraine. At least I can say so.'

She glanced at him and smiled, then nodded her head once and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He didn’t mean to stare, but now he started noticing that she was quite pretty. Or she could be, had she put on a bit of weight. Her face was still pale, long eyelashes casted shadows on her cheekbones, sharp and defined by the slightly hollowed cheeks. Her nose was thin and a bit pointy and her full, small lips were pressed together in a bit of concern. He swore he could see every movement of muscles underneath her paper-like skin, when she licked her dry lips and clenched her teeth.

‘I’m off now. The semester is now over’ Lorraine exclaimed suddenly, making Kouyou look away from her protruding collarbones.

‘What are you studying?’ he dared to ask, as it seemed natural to keep the conversation up.

‘Art. Painting, to be specific. And you?’ she asked, but then gave him a quick glance and frowned. ‘No, you’re probably fifty…’

It baffled him at first, hearing that statement, but he couldn’t help but giggle. So she really didn’t recognize him, did she?

‘You got me, I’m already retired. In my free time I work a part time job in a music shop and I play guitar a bit.’

‘I was joking’ she bowed her head coyly but didn’t seem too serious about it, as she hid her sneer behind her long hair. He couldn’t tell exactly but they reached far past her waist. ‘But do you play in a band or something? Or just by yourself?’

‘Usually just by myself, but you know… Sometimes in our seniors club, we set up some small gigs.’

She snickered this time, shaking her head. He was kind of proud of himself, that he managed to amuse her by continuing this joke.

‘That’s good. It’s important to keep active at your age.’

‘I also do some jogging, so I’m in a good shape. Usually people don’t guess that easily how old I really am, but seems like you’ve got some real talent right there.’

‘I told you I was joking!’ she huffed playfully but then went silent and squinted at him for a split of a second. ‘Unless I was right?’

‘Who knows?’ he shrugged, deciding to tease her a bit. Maybe she wasn’t that bad with her Japanese skills, since it was easy to joke around with her? He was glad that Lorraine had some sense of humour.

‘You for sure. And some other people probably.’

‘Well, the age wasn’t quite right, but I do play guitar sometimes’ He wasn’t sure if he risked too much giving her such a hint, but in case of emergency, he would just play along to the music shop story. He didn’t quite want her to know who he really was, there was no need to introduce her to the band world. Not that she wasn’t worth it, she just wasn’t crucial enough in his life to know more about him.

Unless… She could be? It’s been ages since Kouyou made a new friend somewhere outside of work. It’s been always either his old acquaintances or job related connections. And since the girl already happened to play some role, why wouldn’t he just play along?

‘How about I give you my Line ID, so you can let me know if you need something? You know, I’m still sorry about what happened’

‘You mean like… As an apology?’

‘Yeah, as an apology or compensation.’

She looked somewhere in the distance considered the offer visibly, with her eyes slightly narrowed and lips pursed.

‘Do you think I can sue you and get some compensation though?’

Oh crap, he thought, as he felt the tingling rush of adrenaline building up in his body. He really hoped she was joking.

‘I think your chances would be significant, but before you bring over a lawsuit, we can always discuss the terms in private.’

‘I wouldn’t know how to handle a lawsuit, I guess…’ she sighed and with a bit of discomfort, she fished out her phone out of her bag. It took her a moment to open up the app, but eventually she handed the device over when the driver announced that they reached the destination. He quickly typed in his username.

‘There you go’ he gave the phone back. It was quite an old model and it had some serious processing problems. He was still paying attention to such details, having just switched to a newer iPhone model. ‘So, goodnight then and again, I’m really sorry for causing you trouble. Don’t hesitate to let me know if you need something.’ He gave her a reassuring smile and saw her look away quickly, as if it made her flustered.

‘Sure. Thank you’ she bowed her head and fiddled with the door handle before finally opening the doors and getting out of the car. Kouyou had no idea if she was ever going to text him and he regretted leaving her any sort of contact to him in the first place, but she deserved it after all.

Shit happens, he thought to himself and instructed the diver to take him home.

He had enough social interactions for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suck at dialogues *dabs*
> 
> leave a comment if you belong to one of those people who think that OCs in fanfics are underappreciated


	2. Chapter 2

**‘You know, I might actually reconsider the whole lawsuit idea…’**

Kouyou smiled at the screen of his phone and flopped onto the couch, suddenly not interested in taking a shower after his morning jog. Or more accurately, noon jog. He waited for the message, he wasn’t even denying that, although the hope that Lorraine might actually text him was long gone, as he spent his days off mostly playing games and trying to come up with new melodies. 

**‘I’d still suggest negotiating the details of our agreement without a lawyer.'**

He caught himself thinking about her couple of times, wondering if she was okay after the incident, or if she was actually angry at him and just masked it off with humour.

**‘And have them unfavourable for me eventually? Not convincing.’**

**‘Absolutely not, I’m full of remorse and willing to cooperate.’**

**‘Okay then, but I have absolutely no idea how much I can ask for.’**

Was asking the girl out too bold? He was hesitant, because she turned his offer down before and also didn’t seem eager to keep in touch with him. Moreover, she was probably considerably younger and that told him to be a bit more cautious.

**‘How about we talk about it at a really cozy Italian restaurant that I know?’**

Well, it was too late already. All of his rational thinking could go to hell because he really would lie if he said that he wasn’t quite interested in her. She was an adult after all, and all he offered was a dinner together, so it wasn’t that big of a deal after all.

**‘Isn’t it a bit too early for a dinner?’**

**‘Let’s call it a lunch then?’**

Kouyou was really glad that she agreed to meet him. There was still a part of him left wondering if she really, actually wasn’t mad at him, but then if she was, eating a lunch together wouldn’t be something the girl would agree to. He was rarely the first one to show up at the meeting, but this time he made sure to have some extra time minutes to make sure she didn't feel uncomfortable waiting for him. What if she thought that he won't show up if he accidentally got late? He couldn't let himself risk that faux pas. He waved at her when she came in, dressed quite casually in oversized jeans and equally loose linen shirt. He was glad that he didn’t choose to wear anything fancier than a pair of black pants and a navy blue button-down thrown over a t-shirt, because that would end up a bit uncomfortable for both of them.

‘Hi’ he greeted her when she approached the table. 

‘Hi’ she muttered timidly in response, avoiding his gaze. For a moment he wondered if he should help her to take off the jacket or pull out a chair for her, but she did it just fine on her own. The menu was already lying on the table before her.

‘How’s the finger?’ he asked as soon as she sat down. Lorraine looked down at her hand and frowned with disappointment.

‘Bothering me.’

‘Just as I was worried about. It’s your right hand after all...’ he sighed and wanted to give her a sheepish smile, but her gaze was still locked at her lap. ‘What would you want to eat?’ he asked, prompting her to have a look at the menu. 

‘Ah yeah, here comes the hardest part’ she chuckled and shuffled through the pages. Kouyou already made his choice, as he was already familiar with the place and cuisine they served.

‘If I can give you any advice, the pasta here is really good, it’s handmade. My coworker's father runs this place.’

He could see her hesitate and he wondered if all she was doing was counting calories, as she flicked through the pages. It was undeniable that she was probably the skinniest person Kouyou had ever known but at that time, he didn’t know how much there was to worry about. She was a grown up woman after all, someone he hasn’t known for a long time, so he tried to not overthink it.

She chose a salad eventually and he really wasn’t surprised.

‘How about some white wine?’ he offered, while the waitress was taking their orders. The girl was visibly tense, way more than the last time they met, so he guessed that it might have been because of the alcohol, or the lack of it at the moment. And well, he could use a glass of wine to help him go. She nodded.

‘Dry?’

‘Dry it is’ he agreed and turned the pages to the wine list. The waitress he hasn’t seen there before took their order and hurried back to the bar. It wasn’t that busy at that time of the day and he was glad that they had some privacy.

‘I hope I’m not participating in a delay of some big masterpiece coming up’ Kouyou said, daring to ask her about her hobby. He really liked it when people were passionate about something, especially creating. He himself wasn't that much of a fan of art, but he liked to have artist friends. It made much stronger of a connection in his eyes, he felt more understood.

‘No, no’ she shook her head. 'So far I’ve been only doing some test sketches. You know… Sort of like frames. I had one idea in mind but I’m still not sure if it fully satisfies me.’

‘Well, that’s good to hear that’ he smiled. He couldn’t help but think if the girl was really that shy, or was there something more to the fact that she hadn’t looked up at his face even once. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions too soon though. ‘I often collect my ideas like that too, while composing.’

‘So you’re composing too?’ Lorraine raised her eyebrows, but didn’t peel her eyes away from the napkin she was nibbling on with her fingers. ‘I thought you’re just covering other bands.’

‘Oh, you know. At my age, you’ve already got to have some of your own songs.’

‘Stop it, you won’t let me live for that joke’ the girl rolled her eyes and chuckled and he couldn’t hold a giggle.

‘Okay, fine. Anyway, yes, I do compose a little’ he admitted, watching the waitress as she came with a bottle of wine and poured it to the glasses.

‘Could I give it a listen one day?’ she asked and dared to take a quick glance at him. Lorraine’s eyes were icy blue and piercing, rimmed with thick black lashes.

‘Sure, especially since I’ve got one melody stuck in my head for a while now. Maybe I will work on it a bit tonight. I’m having an evening shift tomorrow.’ he said, remembering that he should be sticking to the lie he’d made up before, so referencing to it would actually be a smart way to have it coherent.

‘Then I guess you could send me a link or the file. If you record the things you compose, obviously.’

Kouyou hesitated. If he would really send her the file, there was always a chance she would have him debunked, and he really didn’t want that to happen that soon. His mouth went a little dry. Damn, he really wasn’t good with lies, was he?

‘Not really… But maybe I will have the chance to play it to you someday’ he replied with a smile and reached out for his wine. ‘How about we have a little toast?’

Lorraine seemed a bit confused at first, squinting at the glass he held in his hand, but eventually she reached out for hers too.

‘What for?’ she asked, gently rotating the glass in place, but not yet deciding to raise it. ‘Inspiration? Creativity? Or a coincidence?’

He snickered. Her way of thinking was really something that impressed him every time she spoke. He wanted to know more about her, about her point of view, about what was going on inside her mind. It wasn’t really all that different and unusual, Kouyou felt more like it was something he himself wouldn’t think of and it enticed him.

‘I like that one. So, for coincidence then.’

Their glasses collided with a soft _ding_ and he swore he could see a bit of a blush on her cheeks. Their food was brought to them a while later and at that moment the guitarist realized that he had skipped breakfast on that day. He couldn’t count some tomato juice as a breakfast anyway, so he was indeed quite hungry and a serving of hot, cheesy noodles was something he craved deeply at that time. Upon a quick check, Lorraine also seemed to be eating, so he decided that maybe he shouldn’t be concerned about her lithe frame that much. At least she was eating something.

‘Is there any place on the internet where I can see your paintings?’ he decided to ask at some point. For some reason, she seemed baffled by that question.

‘Technically, yeah. But I don’t update often’ she said, shrugging her thin shoulders.

‘I’d like to see anyway, you could send me a link.’

‘We’ll see what can be done about that.’

Leaving the decision to her was the fairest option for him. He wasn’t that much of an artsy person compared to Ruki for example, but he was still curious to see what kind of style the girl had, how good she was. The progressive way of thinking he had was already leading him to wonder if they could have her doing some artwork for their album or the website. Not only to have something original representing their job, but also to give the girl some highlight too, since she was probably a struggling artist. He offered another glass of wine and she complied, much to his contentment. He really wanted her, or maybe even both of them, to feel less tense.

‘What kind of music do you listen to?’ he asked. Not only he couldn’t quite figure that out just from the way she dressed, but he also wanted to calculate the chances of her knowing the band. She sighed in response and swirled the wine in her glass.

‘Various things, really. I don’t like to label music by genres, it’s too vague. The spectrum is just so broad. I like particular songs or sounds or melodies. Recently I’ve been listening to a lot of soundtracks while painting.’

He really liked that answer. As a musician, he was often asked about the music they played with their band and he somehow ended up responding comparably to what she said. It was just really hard to pinpoint what kind of music they were playing, since they often experimented with their style throughout one album.

‘Couldn’t agree more. It’s very confining to describe one’s music taste just by some common features of a genre’ he nodded, taking a sip of his wine. ‘I could name a song of many genres that are exceptionally good.’

‘So what exactly are you playing with your band? How big of an influence are the things you listen to, on what you’re composing?’

The question made him shift uncomfortably in his chair. How much was he allowed to lie in that case? The deeper he went into this story, the more he wanted to tell the truth already. And it was just the beginning!

‘It really depends on the period we were currently in. We never stuck strictly to one genre of music.’ he admitted, deciding to be as truthful as possible. The chance of messing up was significantly lower in that case. ‘Sometimes, while composing one kind of music, I like to listen to something completely different in my free time, because it allows me to have a fresh look on what I’m doing. Other times I listen to something similar, because it gives me inspiration. Either way, I think that everything I have ever listened to has an influence on what I end up composing, so I never stop browsing new music. It’s like constantly adding pieces to a puzzle, you’re never sure where it’s gonna take you and what kind of image it unravels eventually, but it makes me feel like I’m becoming a better musician thanks to that.’

Well, there he was, curious to know more about the girl and meanwhile being the one who kept talking. It was really easy to get him ranting, wasn’t it? It just took one right question and he would be giving a whole detailed lecture about his point of view. He didn’t consider it much of a flaw most of the time, because it often helped him get through the interviews, but this wasn’t an interview, for god’s sake. And then he had to shut up because he noticed that she was looking at him, while he focused on explaining his way of thinking and gesticulating excessively. He wanted to smile at her, but as soon as their eyes met, she lowered her gaze to the plate in front of her.

‘You really sound like a professional, career making musician’ she smiled gently, stirring the salad with the fork. ‘If you’re this ambitious, maybe it’s time to leave the shop for the sake of the stage?”

The awareness that he was going to have to admit the truth at some point was gnawing at him, but it was not the right time. He needed to think it through. He smiled a bit awkwardly at her words.

‘Well, I’m keeping my mind open for various options’ was what he assumed was the best answer at the moment. That was also the best time to change the topic to what interested him more, before it got too awkward. ‘How about you though? What inspires you when you’re painting?’

‘Music’ she said with a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her pierced ear and reaching for her glass. ‘It’s all connected. It all revolves around some kind of emotions. They create a mood, and the mood is interpreted by some kind of a vision. Colours, frames, light and dark, shapes and so on. Regardless of which of the elements you start with, you need all of them to create something.’

After he repeated her sentence in his mind, it all made sense. She was right. Her process of thinking reminded him a bit of Ruki’s, which was familiar, but the way she put it into words hit him with a much greater impact. 

‘You’ve got a point. It’s all connected, that’s why it’s so crucial to keep all these things in mind while planning a concert’ he agreed and immediately realized that it might have sounded sort of suspicious, so he decided to be quick to act. ‘Or an exhibition, or even a movie. At least that’s what I assume.’

‘You play concerts?’

Well, there it was. The question he was afraid of. She really was quite observant, wasn’t she? The answer he planned wasn’t at all a lie though.

‘Sometimes. Not in the nearest future though.’

‘Oh, that’s a shame. However, I hope that you will let me know if there's something coming up’ Lorraine said, with a little bit of a smile and a blush on her pale face. Unsure whether it was because of some shyness or the alcohol, he couldn’t help but notice that she looked adorable like that and he wasn’t even fighting that thought. 

‘Of course I will. I’ll even get you a ticket’ he said, trying to be charming. Why exactly, he didn’t know, but he knew that he was acting like a dumb teenager that was just catching feelings for a crush.

'Oh, nice. With a backstage pass?’ she asked, finally taking a sip from the glass she had been holding all that time. She glanced at him for a second and in that one moment he got lost in her eyes. He had never seen anyone’s eyes being so light. First thing he thought of was that they reminded him of glaciers, although Lorraine’s gaze was warm and soft. Kouyou needed a moment to recall what they were talking about.

‘Sure. Even if it was Tokyo Dome’ he said and it made them both snicker.

‘Nice, I hope there aren't many doors there. Lowers the possibility of me getting hurt by you’ she retorted with a serious tone but then broke into a giggle.

‘Speaking of which, we were supposed to discuss our agreement. I’m still waiting to hear what your terms are’ he reminded. Back at home Kouyou was really worried that they won’t have a topic to talk about, so the case of the settlement was just a pinpoint to keep the conversation going. Meanwhile, they both seemed to have forgotten about it, finding different, more natural things to discuss and it really lifted his mood up.

‘I didn’t think that through, I’m afraid’ she sighed, putting her glass down gently.

‘No problem. We can postpone it to another time then, it’s quite favourable to my side actually.’

‘Wasn’t it supposed to be favourable to me?’

‘It was, indeed, but we’re here to make a compromise, right? So ideally, it will be good for both of us and I sincerely hope that this is where we’re going’ he retorted with a smile, trying to sound eloquent and eventually making her laugh. That lifted his mood up even more. ’Changing the topic a bit, were you raised in Japan?’

It concerned him throughout the entire meeting so far. The first time they met, she seemed quite confused with the language, but now she could not only understand him, but also formulate expressive responses.

‘No, I came here two years ago.’

‘To study?’ he asked and she agreed with a nod. ‘But you knew the language prior to that, right?’

‘I watched a lot of anime with my friend and it sort of happened’ she answered a bit timidly, as if she was admitting something embarrassing. To Kouyou, it was something exactly opposite to that, it impressed him right away.

‘For real? You watched it with subtitles? No courses, no language school?’

‘With subtitles at first, then I started to understand more, watch some movies, listen to music and translate the lyrics. I started taking it more seriously in high school, that’s why I still have quite some problems with the chinese characters these days, even though it’s not a big deal for me to talk’ she explained, grabbing her fork and stirring her salad again, as if she was hesitating whether or not to take a bite. She did, eventually.

‘How old are you exactly?’ he decided to ask, because it was something he was thinking about often. He wondered if it wasn’t too bold, so he decided to clarify himself a bit. ‘Just curious.’

‘Twenty two.’ she said, not really offended by the question at all. The answer wasn't that surprising after all, the reason being that he has been unsure how to judge her age. She could easily be eighteen, just as well as thirty, he had no idea how western women aged.

‘Well, that makes me ten years older’ he said, as it was only fair if he let her know about his age in return. ‘That’s a significantly lesser difference than you have assumed in the first place.’

She smiled, putting the fork down.

‘That doesn’t really matter to me. Age is just a number and it doesn’t define anything.'

‘You only say so because you’re still young’

‘Right, grandpa’ she mocked, rising her glass. He couldn’t hold back a snicker as he chewed on his noodles.

‘So how do you like it here in Japan? Where are you from?’

Kouyou has spent his entire life in this country, so it made it really interesting for him, knowing someone from a different part of the world. He was also curious what was like to experience his country from the perspective of a foreigner, as he supposed it could be quite hectic sometimes.

‘Oh, it’s completely different from the small town nearby London that I used to live in. Absolutely different in every single aspect of it. It’s hard to compare and hard to tell which one I prefer, since both of the places have their pros and cons, but I got used to living here and don’t plan to change that for now.’

‘That’s understandable. Big city is indeed quite convenient to live in, as you’ve got all the shops, restaurants and offices close by. However, I’d see myself living in some quiet little town as I grow old’ he admitted with a smile. And why was he talking about himself again, since all he wanted was to know more about the girl?

‘Oh, you’re planning that already? Oh right, it’s not so far away, old man…’ she giggled, picking up the onrolling joke quite smoothly. He shook his head in disbelief and amusement. She really was something…

‘There must be something in it, because I find myself often annoyed by the hustle and bustle. You’ll know what I mean when you reach my age’ he grinned at her, enjoying the sight as she bowed her head and chuckled. ‘Would you like more wine?’

‘I would rather not get us drunk this time, I fear for my fingers a bit, you know’ she retorted, gulping down the last bit from her glass.

‘You won’t let me live for that, will you?’

‘Why would I?’

The smile she had on her lips, gentle but somehow mysterious, much similar to the one of Mona Lisa’s, in that very moment made him want to kiss her and he really had to do his best to avert his gaze. Hold your horses, man, he scolded himself mentally.

‘Right, we still haven’t gotten to terms with our settlement, I guess that’s fair.’

‘How about you make an offer?’

‘Are we negotiating the compensation in cash or favours?’

‘Favours, definitely.’

‘Well then, I see no other option as you saving my contact as ICE and just giving me a message anytime you need a favour, at any time of the day or night.’

Kouyou scowled mentally at the flirtatious tone he included in that sentence. It was completely not intended, he swore to himself. But it’s just been so long since he allowed himself to have such a loose conversation, completely unrelated to his job, to who he was as Uruha, that it just made him feel like he was himself again. He felt like Kouyou, who was so easy to fall head over heels in love, and so easy to get his heart broken. And he haven’t let himself feel that way in ages.

There was something in Lorraine’s icy blue eyes, that ironically melted him on the inside.

And all he wanted was to have an excuse to see them again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it is, more fooling around. idk i like these two together. i hope that this time the dialogues went a bit better.  
> love all the ones that commented on the last one, you really made me go with this one <3 :')


	3. Chapter 3

It was difficult for Kouyou to stick to the plot he came up with. He was a terrible liar and getting lost in all the little details seemed alarmingly too possible. He had to remember about the working schedule he had planned, he had to make up some convincingly sounding job related scenarios when Lorraine asked him how his day was, it all was just too complicated for him to bother. Yet he still didn’t feel like it was the right time to tell the truth.

They met up once for a cup of coffee, when he happened to be out in town. She didn’t look like she was in a good mood on that day, as her gaze roamed around the surroundings and she got lost in her thoughts, losing track of the conversation and falling silent in the middle of a sentence. She excused herself with a lack of sleep during the previous night and judging from the dark circles around her eyes, he couldn’t blame her. He asked if it was because of some kind of pain or if she was simply too busy painting, but she just said it’s just hard for her to fall asleep sometimes. At that time, every single part of Kouyou’s mind wanted to hug the girl and lull her to sleep.

They exchanged messages more often, however it was quite complicated, as the supposed music shop clerk had to keep up with his working schedule. It took one text at the wrong hour for her to ask him if he wasn’t supposed to be working and all he could do was to lie that he had switched the shifts with his coworker. It was undeniably impressive how observant she was, but it was such a pest in his situation.

He decided to ask her out on Wednesday, because he spent entire day at his home studio, working on the melody Ruki had sent him. He could, of course, just grab a can of beer and drink it while watching TV, but asking Lorraine to join him at a bar was a far better option, as well as an excuse to meet up with her. He hesitated for couple of minutes, trying to come up with a message that sounded inviting enough, but not too pushy or needy.

**‘How about we go out to a bar tonight? I know it’s like the middle of the week, but I’m having a day off tomorrow and I could really use a drink.,.’**

The answer didn’t come in immediately. He had enough time to browse the internet on his laptop, give the preview he’s been working on another listen, have a handful of nachos as a snack and also check his phone about a dozen times. He also managed to miss the glass while he was pouring himself some water and then hit his hip against the kitchen counter as he rushed to grab his phone after it buzzed.

**‘I’m wandering around Ikebukuro right now, maybe we could meet up somewhere here?’**

First thing he did was grabbing his laptop and doing a little research on bars in Ikebukuro. He rarely visited that district and he wasn’t sure if he had went to any of the bars located there. Finding a decent, cozy place was his top priority. Not all of the places had booths and the idea of sitting at the counter where all people gathered wasn’t appealing to him. Getting some privacy in a public place was often a hassle, but he wanted to do his best, since inviting her to his house would probably be taken in a bad way. Last thing he wanted was for the girl to think he was some kind of creep or worse. 

After spending a moment on research, he sent her the name of the bar, its address and asked if nine o’clock was okay. Not waiting for the response he rushed upstairs to get changed into something more appropriate than a pair of jersey shorts and old Deftones shirt. He didn’t want to be too casual, but being excessively elegant wasn’t a great option either. Was a t-shirt enough, or should he choose a button-up? Kouyou had already forgotten what it was like to plan his outfits. He usually depended on what he grabbed first.

Clad in simple black pants, he couldn’t decide between a white linen button-up with a black front pocket and a white t-shirt paired with a jean jacket. He glanced at the phone to check the time.

‘Well, still got some time for some quick ironing I guess’ he shrugged, choosing the white linen and rushing downstairs to get the iron and the board. Having some spare time on hand, he also concluded that maybe it would be nicer if he gave himself a little shave, however he regretted that right after accidentally cutting his chin. What he only hoped for was not staining his shirt with blood while he brushed his teeth and applied cologne. He was already content with the outfit and didn’t plan on changing it. The chain that he attached to his pants was making the whole look a bit less elegant and he eventually picked a pair of black high ankle sneakers over leather oxfords to make it more casual.

Kouyou really did his best to not be late but he happened to arrive at the destination six minutes after the scheduled time. She was waiting for him by the entrance, eyes locked on her sneakers and feet shuffling idly as she leaned against the wall. He immediately regretted dressing up, as he saw the girl wearing grey oversized jeans and a baggy black hoodie. Well, he could only hope that she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with the way they both presented. 

‘Hi’ he greeted upon approaching her. Just then he noticed that she had earphones in, so he had to step in a bit closer to get in her peripheral vision. She got visibly startled as she looked up, but her eyes lit up when she noticed him.

‘Oh, hi’ she blurted out and smiled coyly, taking the earphones out and fishing out a music player from her pocket. Turning it off and wrapped the earphone cord around it, then tossed it into her tote bag.

‘Sorry for being late, I hope you’re not waiting long’ he said with an apologetic smile and guided her to the entrance to the bar.

‘Well, actually, I’ve been hanging around here for like’ she paused to take a glance at the watch on her wrist, ‘half an hour, but I had nothing better to do.’

He instantly felt stupid for being late and making the girl wait for him the additional couple of minutes. It made his stomach twist in shame.

‘Half an hour? Damn, I’m really sorry, I could have taken the earlier train.’

‘It’s fine, really. I got tired of walking around’ she shook her head while they walked over to the bar counter.

‘Okay, let’s say I accept that. What would you like to drink?’ he asked, looking at her more than at the bartender. Her pale skin appeared almost translucent in the blue neon lights located behind the bar.

‘Umeshuu?’

Kouyou didn’t even expect such a swift answer. In his mind, he couldn’t recall any other date that made her choice so quickly. Usually it took girls at least a couple of different options to finally decide on the drink. Hell, even he didn’t know what he felt like drinking. He hadn’t had plum wine in a long time though, so he decided to give it a shot and ordered them two glasses.

‘Had a rough day?’ Lorraine asked quietly when they waited for their drinks to be poured.

‘Huh? No, not, really’ he glanced at her and noticed that she was staring at his chin, probably judging his shaving skills. She averted her gaze back to the glittery countertop immediately. ‘Why? Do I look tired?’

‘No, I don’t know. You said that you could use a drink, so I assumed it was rough’ she shrugged her shoulders in response and fidgeted with the frayed hem of the bandage on her hand. It warmed his heart that she actually listened to what he said and also cared for him in a way.

‘Oh, well. It was a bit tiring, yeah’ he admitted and went quiet for a moment, not sure if he should play with open cards or if it was too bold. ‘But I assumed you’d be up for a drink and my main intention was to meet you.’

He really wanted to be more confident saying that, but it sort of happened that he couldn’t look up at her and send her a charming smile. What happened to all of his social skills? Did he really forget everything and just turned back into the shy teenager he has been? It didn’t really help that his palms turned a bit sweaty when she lowered her head and chuckled. Right, that was smooth, he thought to himself bitterly and grabbed the glasses the bartender slid over the counter. He handed one over to her.

‘How about we have a seat over there?’ he pointed at one of the booths in the corner and the girl nodded. The tables had the same glittery surface as the bar and at first it was very distracting for him. He somehow loved all the reflective, shiny things and it seemed that Lorraine also had a safe spot to look at. If that distraction made her more comfortable, he was glad that he had chosen this place.

‘It’s supposed to be quite warm during the upcoming weekend, I’m thinking about going to some kind of lake’ Kouyou picked up. He thought about this excessively the previous night, about taking the girl to some nice, quiet place that was still on a neutral, public ground. He watched her reaction, trying to see if he got her attention up.

‘That’s a good idea. You could have a chance to get away from the city’ she said, taking a sip from her glass. ’Do you fish?’

‘No, no, I don’t. I’d like to just relax there.’

‘Don’t you go fishing together with other members of the Seniors Club?’ she asked with a smile on her lips and he chuckled at that. Right, back to the rolling joke again.

‘Nah, the band and the grandchildren consume all of my free time’ he retorted and also took a swing of the alcohol. It was tart and sweet, and left a fruity aftertaste, just as he remembered.

‘Okay, then you probably deserve some time alone with the nature. Maybe you’ll get some inspiration.’

‘Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to look for that inspiration with me. As long as you don’t have any other plans.’

He could feel his stomach twisting anxiously when she shot him a quick glance, as if she was checking if he was serious.

‘Um… I wouldn’t want to disturb your alone time…’

‘Nonsense, I’d really appreciate your company’ he exclaimed, maybe a bit too hurriedly. Lorraine didn’t seem to mind as she smiled softly, more at her glass than at him.

‘That would be nice’ she admitted quietly.

‘I will send you some links with possible options when I find something interesting. Unless you’d like to go somewhere specific, then I’m open for suggestions.’

‘I don’t really know many places around, so I trust you completely when it comes to making the decision.’

‘I’m looking forward to this weekend then’ he said with a gentle smile. For a very brief moment she looked up at him and his heart fluttered in his chest, overwhelmed with delight.

‘Aren’t you cold?’ he asked her, when they walked out of the bar, heading to the train station.

‘No, I have a hoodie’ she answered, almost as he wasn’t aware of that. He was going to offer her his jacket, but if she was really fine, he didn’t want to insist. Not that he wasn’t going to keep an eye on the girl, in case she started shivering. ‘It’s so peaceful now. So silent...’

It was indeed more quiet in the narrow back streets, but the hum of car engines was still audible. If she enjoyed the atmosphere though, Kouyou wasn’t going to disrupt it for her. He couldn’t hold back from watching the girl furtively, as she was doing her best to walk perfectly along the yellow tactile path but not step directly on it. She might have been a little tipsy and she huffed or clicked her tongue each time she crossed the line. Her demeanor seemed different after two glasses of plum wine, like the alcohol gave her more confidence and relaxed her. Her shoulders appeared less tense, she didn’t clench her jaw that much. Her eyes weren’t roaming around intensively and most importantly, she had looked at his face couple of times. Kouyou could understand that, as he himself felt less anxious. He managed to joke around and even dared to compliment her, which made her shake her head and blush adorably. 

They reached the station in silence, as it was only a couple minutes away. Lorraine stopped before the gates and turned to face him. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she saw him take out his fare card.

‘You’re also going home by Yamanote line?’ she asked, looking up at him.

‘Yes, but first I’m going to escort you on your way home.’

‘You don’t need to, I know how to get there’ she retorted. Something changed in her eyes and she looked around almost nervously. Was she afraid that he would follow her home? It was the first thing that came to his mind, so he gave her a reassuring, gentle smile.

‘I don’t doubt that. Just want to make sure you don’t fall asleep on the train, ending up riding in circles around the town.’ 

Lorraine seemed to process his words for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip.

‘Okay’ she muttered eventually and fished out her card, tapping it at the gate. He wasn’t sure if her agreement came because she was actually wary that there was a chance that she could end up dozing off on the train. What mattered the most to him was that she trusted his intentions. He followed her to the platform, watching her braid as it swayed to the sides when she walked down the stairs. He wanted to comb his fingers through her hair, let them fall loosely around her thin frame, as their length almost reached the backs of her thighs.

‘The train comes in two minutes’ she exclaimed, turning around swiftly and looking up at him. He nodded silently. It didn’t matter how much he was supposed to wait, as long as he could see her eyes, blue and glistening in the harsh fluorescent light. She was close enough for him to notice that along with the faint pink hue of a blush, she also had freckles adorning her nose and cheeks. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of leaning in to kiss both of her cheekbones and he had to turn his gaze away to not make a fool out of himself by doing so.

‘Where do you even live?’ Lorraine asked, when they sat down in a rather unoccupied train cart. 

‘Ebisu.’ he replied, snapping out of his thoughts. He was glad that she spoke up, as he’s been already too deep into overthinking the possibility of what would it be like to kiss her.

‘That’s the opposite direction. You could have taken the other train and instead you’re gonna spend additional fourty five minutes going back home from Meguro’ she sighed, shaking her head at him. ‘Completely pointless.’

‘Not at all pointless. The point is that you don’t have to go home alone. Since I was the one to invite you to a bar and offer alcohol, I also feel responsible for making sure that nothing bad happens to you on your way home’ he explained patiently.

‘What if something happens to you on your way home then? What if you get a slipped disc or, I don’t know, arethretis? Arethris? I forgot the word…’ she giggled to herself and he couldn’t hold a chuckle.

‘Wow, from fifty to eighty years old really fast… The time flies, doesn’t it?’

‘Before you know it!’ she exclaimed maybe a bit too loudly, because some people looked at her, startled. It once again surprised Kouyou how much less timid she behaved after alcohol and a part of him was glad that he could make it easier for her to communicate. Seeing how she grew a bit embarrassed of that sudden outburst, he hesitated for a moment and then found the courage to reach out for her left hand, holding it in a subtle grip. She appeared so pure and innocent in his eyes, that such a minor thing felt like something way more daring. He could feel that she got tense at first, as if she wanted to free herself at the initial contact. Then she eased into the touch. Her hand was much smaller than his and her skin was slightly dry. He supposed it could be because of the paints, but he wasn’t sure.

With the corner of his eye he could see that Lorraine had her eyes locked on their clasped hands. Was she trying to remember the sight, trace the composition their entangled fingers created and save it in her mind?

‘I feel like painting now’ she sighed with a soft smile, tearing her gaze away to the ceiling lights and letting her hand rest in the cradle of his palm for the rest of the ride.

‘Thank you for this evening’ she said as soon as they got off the train at Meguro. Kouyou had got so cozy and warm while sitting on the train, that he was the one who almost fall asleep and he felt awfully ashamed for that. He looked at her with a warm smile.

‘Likewise. Are you sure you want to go home alone?’

‘Yes, grandpa, I will be fine’ she rolled her eyes and grinned. ‘Take care on your way back. Of yourself and your arethretis.’

With that, she turned around and walked away towards the stairs, right along the tactile path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know it's arthritis, she just never had arthritis before, especially in japanese :')  
> also we've passed the 3 chapter mark this is already a huge success for me lmao pls give me a pat on the back


	4. Chapter 4

It took him an unreasonable amount of time to choose a place for their weekend trip. A part of him wanted to go somewhere private, where they wouldn’t meet many or hopefully any people on their way. Lorraine seemed to be that kind of person to enjoy completely secluded spots, or at least Kouyou assumed so. It would be rude of him to jump to conclusions like that though, so the other part of him wanted to pick a slightly more populated place in order to make it more casual. He was really torn between a small lake around Chiba and two big reservoirs at the border of Tokyo and Saitama. He had to choose either a quiet, open space surrounded by a small village, or having a walk down a promenade in the middle of a city. While both options had their pros and cons, he wasn’t fully satisfied with either one of them. He was about the send Lorraine the links to both places to ask about her option, but couldn’t stop scrolling around the maps with the hope to find something just right. It took him almost another hour to stumble upon a spot that looked just perfect, with just the right amount of nature that would help them both relax and refresh.

**‘I know that I talked about going to a lake, but how about a river?’**

Kouyou looked at the clock. It was way later at night than he expected. He took off the glasses and rubbed his sore eyes. The girl was probably asleep at that point, at least he hoped so, so he just sent her the coordinates of the location and shut the laptop closed. Gulping down the last sip of wine from his glass, he went upstairs to finally get some sleep.

He was waiting for her around the Sugamo station, where she asked to meet him. It was a little peculiar for him that she didn’t request him to pick her up directly from her house, but he guessed that maybe she didn’t trust him well enough to let him know where she lived. He wasn’t very bothered by that. He parked the car in front of the station, already reaching out to turn the hazard lights on but he noticed her waiting for him. It was easy to spot her silhouette standing there, her pale skin almost gleaming in the sunlight. She was wearing loose clothes again, a black hoodie and grey jeans paired with sneakers. It wasn’t a very girly style that Kouyou used to be drawn into, but for some reason that significantly oversized clothing was adorable, making the girl look tiny an fragile. The guitarist got out of the car and waved at her to catch her attention.

‘Hi’ Lorraine said with a smile when she approached the car. He decided to open the door for her, since her finger was probably still hurting. She thanked quietly for that gesture and got inside.

‘Did you have a breakfast? We could get a coffee and something to eat on our way’ he suggested, grabbing his phone to set the navigation.

‘We could have a coffee I guess’ she replied, taking off her sunglasses and tossing them into the tote bag. Kouyou was glad that the weather seemed to be good so far. He had checked the forecast every day to see if there were any chances of rain ahead, so he could the plans accordingly. The sun and a couple of clouds that lazily floated by on that day were relieving and satisfying.

‘Did you sleep well last night?’ Kouyou asked after a moment, giving her a side glance. Lorraine looked visibly tense in the leather seat and he wondered if she was scared of driving.

‘Moderately.’

‘I’m sorry for keeping you awake that late then’ he smiled gently, navigating them through the city. They had quite a heated up discussion about dogs on the previous night, which escalated into sending each other random clips and videos of animals. He was kind of glad that the girl shared the same kind of frustration of wanting but not being able to have a pet as he did.

‘If I didn’t want to stay up, I wouldn’t. I was enjoying myself’ she replied, returning the smile but not looking up at him, her eyes locked on her hands. Maybe she felt like being in the car with him was too intimate? Kouyou really couldn’t tell but he wished she’d ease out soon enough.

He stopped by a cafe that happened to have a parking lot nearby. They both ordered coffees, but the girl refused any sort of snack to go with it. For some reason he wasn’t exactly convinced that she ate anything in the morning, but nagging her would be too rude, so he decided to just let that pass. They waited for their order and headed back to the car.

‘But… are you sure?’ she asked, walking out of the coffee shop. ‘What if someone’s coffee gets spilled? Or you’ll get crumbs on the floor?’

‘Well, in that case, it can always be cleaned up’ he gave her a reassuring smile. It was kind of sweet of her that she cared about such things. The look on her face told him that she wasn’t exactly convinced by that answer, but she nodded and complied to get in the seat. He noticed that Lorraine checked twice if the lid on her cup was properly closed, before taking a careful sip. It made him think that what he had considered cute, might have actually been bothersome for the girl, as she stressed out to not get any of her drink spilled.

‘Hey, don’t worry so much about it’ he spoke up, taking a bite of his croissant. Last thing he wanted was making her feel like being in his Chrysler was some kind of luxury. Lorraine smiled, dropping her gaze. She nodded shyly.

It was tedious to drive out of the city, stopping at all the lights and intersections, but he was glad that the rush hours have just ended and the traffic wasn’t too jammed.

‘I like your shirt’ the girl said suddenly. ‘It’s a bold colour, but it suits you well.’

Kouyou couldn’t help but smile coyly at that. Lorraine wasn’t looking into his direction and he was glad that she didn’t notice a tad bit of abashment on his face. For some reason he thought that it was a good day to wear the turquoise blue button-up made out of soft silk fabric. He usually avoided such vivid colours, so he was quite hesitant to buy it in the first place, but it was the first thing that caught his eye on that day and he decided to give it a try.

‘Thanks. I actually just bought it last week and it’s my first time wearing it.’

‘Quite a nice choice. It would also look even better if your hair was darker’ she said, glancing at him for a second and taking a sip of her coffee.

‘I’ll take that into consideration next time I go to the hairdresser’ he chuckled. He was kind of thinking about changing his hair back to a darker colour, as he recently found himself preferring it over blonde.

‘Can I browse the music?’ the girl asked, pointing to the screen of the radio that currently displayed the cover of a Limp Bizkit album. He just noticed that as they finally reached the expressway, the last song ended and it went back to play the album all over again from the beginning.

‘Sure, go ahead. You can also plug your phone in, if you want’ he encouraged her.

‘I don’t have any music on my phone’ she replied with a smile and reached out to carefully touch the screen with her thin finger, intuitively navigating the library. ‘I’m the type to carry a music player around. The sound quality is better. And listening to music on a phone is annoying.’

‘I absolutely agree’ he nodded his head, impressed by that kind of answer. He didn’t know many people being snob about having separate device to listen to music and it was even more joyful to him, that Lorraine happened to be the person to share that point of view. He looked a couple of times at the screen, trying to check what catches her attention. ‘I’m using an iPod myself, I just judged by the number of people that listen to music on their phones these days.’

‘Maybe I would also do this, if I had a seriously expensive phone, so probably not in the nearest future’ she shrugged her shoulders, choosing Our Long Road Home from Taproot’s discography. She fidgeted in her seat a bit, trying to get herself more comfortable, but he still could tell that her body was tense. He smiled at her choice. It was one of his all-time favourite albums. ‘You have a lot of foreign music. You don’t listen to Japanese bands much, do you? I mean besides Luna Sea and X Japan, it seemed like you’ve got their entire discography there.’

‘I do, but rarely these days. I don’t even listen to X that much as of recently, I think I prefer western bands now’ he said, eyes focused on the road ahead as he drove quite fast. He was one of those people who enjoyed highways, it relaxed him. And Kouyou sure needed to relax at that moment, as he felt too excited with the whole situation. It’s been a while since he had left his house to spend some time outside of the city. The last time he went on a road trip was just a faint memory of last summer, when he got himself considerably drunk on a barbeque they had with the band and some of their staff members. He noticed that Lorraine was quite interested in watching the surroundings, so he didn’t bother her much. He wanted to see if the tension in her body was just initial and if she finally eases out as they continue to drive. 

‘Wow’ she uttered when they left the car by the road. There were only two other vehicles parked there, so Kouyou had his hopes high that there would be noone passing by. The spring was right around the corner, some of the trees were getting ready to sprout leaves, a couple of them here and there were just beginning to bloom. The air felt completely different compared to the city, the refreshing breeze making every breath feel healing. ‘Oh, I thought it’s gonna be closed’ the girl said as they approached the gate that blocked the cars from accessing the bridge.

‘Well, then we would just jump over it’ he shrugged his shoulders, letting her go first through the narrow passage left for the hikers. She looked back at him, confused but smiling.

‘Didn’t know you’re that rebellious.’

‘I used to sneak into places from time to time’ he said with a smug smile. He wasn’t exactly proud of all the things he did as a teenager but some of his reckless ideas made good stories. That led him to think why exactly he was willing to break the boundaries and jump over fences to have some good time with the girl. Was he really turning into a dumb teenager again? Something in his gut told him that he actually was. And that something felt kind of like a bunch of butterflies in his stomach. Hell, he was on a date!

They stopped in the middle of the bridge, taking a moment to enjoy the view of the valley, the sky, the steady stream of the river beneath. Upon reaching the crossing at the other side, they chose a narrow asphalt road that was supposed to lead them to a forest path later.

‘It’s so close yet I’ve never been here’ said Kouyou, as they hiked up the hill.

‘Really?’ the girl rose her eyebrows. She was walking slowly with her hands behind her back, looking up at the sky and down, trying to catch a glimpse of the river. ‘It would seem that since you’re having a car, the possibilities of places you can go to are almost unlimited.’

‘Well, one does not always remember to use all the possibilities they have’ he said, untying his jean jacket from around his waist and putting it on, as it was a bit chilly in the shadow. For some reason it was much harder for him to keep any conversation up in such circumstances. He felt like the words weren’t needed, like they both deserved to just enjoy the calming sounds of the nature. Moreover, he assumed that any sort of talk would be disturbing to Lorraine. She seemed to enjoy herself, to finally feel at ease and he just couldn’t bring himself to ruin that with unnecessary words.

They ended up jumping over the roadside barriers eventually, as they just wanted to go down to the water. Kouyou felt half his age as he did his best to not trip and fall while they trotted down a steep hill towards the glimmering surface of the waves. Lorraine picked the perfect spot, with a breathtaking view at the valley and the river that gradually expanded into a lake. The dark indigo colour of the water surrounded by the deep emerald of evergreens and sepia of dry grass contrasted with the baby blue sky and white clouds. They sat on a lone log, hidden in the shadow of the pine trees and Lorraine immediately reached to her bag, fishing out a sketchbook and taking a moment to find the pencil. He watched her discreetly as she opened the sketchbook at seemingly random empty page and carefully placed the pencil in her right hand, supporting it with the thumb and middle finger. She started sketching the view. With her arched brows slightly furrowed and the lone strands of her long hair ruffled by the wind, she was a really inspiring sight. He felt the urge to tell her that she looked pretty, but he was too embarrassed to do so. 

‘Have you ever been abroad?’ she picked up suddenly, bringing Kouyou back from the depths of his thoughts. What was he thinking about, he wasn’t even sure, he was just letting his mind roam.

‘I happened to be in Europe a couple years ago’ he admitted, deciding that there was no point in lying about that. Obviously he was worried that he might have been giving her hints to discover the truth, but at that point he couldn’t be concerned about that. He had to tell her the truth as soon as possible, anyway.

‘Where exactly? Have you been to England? London?’ she continued. For a moment she seemed very perturbed, reaching into her bag again and taking out a small tin box and a plastic brush filled with water. Opening the box she revealed a couple pans of watercolours and immediately proceeded to mix the shades.

‘Yes, I‘ve been to London. Also went to France, Germany and Finland at that time. It’s been a journey’ he smiled, inching somewhat closer to see the process of her work. She appeared to be so confident with her strokes and movements, like she knew exactly what to do and Kouyou was simply amazed by the way she created the picture.

‘You went with the Seniors Club or the band?’

‘Those are the same people’ he snickered, fascinated by the way the deep indigo of the water bled into the paper.

‘Ah, right. Well, you must be good friends then’ she commented, roaming around her bag again, this time to grab a couple of napkins they got at the cafe. She used them to wipe off the brush and get rid of the excess amount of water from the paper. The guitarist smiled at the thought of his fellow bandmembers. It’s been a good chunk of his life since they’ve been making music together and over this period of time they sort of became the most important people in his life. Sometimes when he went to bed he got haunted by the thoughts of what would he do if something bad happened to one of them. If one of them got seriously ill or died in an accident. Kouyou was terrified of death and he did everything to keep his mind busy to avoid worrying about it. He scolded himself mentally for even bringing this up in his head at such a moment.

‘I guess we are. We know each other for such a long time that we basically became brothers’ he summed up, looking at the picture she created in such a short time while chatting and with an injured finger. ‘It’s beautiful.’

Lorraine shot him a short glance, checking what he was looking at. She dropped her gaze, putting the open sketchbook aside her to dry completely. ‘It’s just a sketch…’ she waved him off, smiling shyly and looking at the water. ‘So how did you like London?’

‘Oh, it’s been a couple of years already, but the whole trip was a very interesting experience. It’s been my first time going overseas, so it left quite an impact on me. First of all, I was terrified of flying’ he laughed, the distant memory of the turbulences making him flinch in displeasure. ‘The cities were completely different too, I think I liked London the most. You probably went there often since you lived nearby?’

‘Not really. I usually stayed in my town. Only been to London a couple of times.’

Kouyou was curious why she didn’t go to such a sightworthy city while living that close, but the way she dropped her gaze and nibbled on the bandage made him think it could be rude to ask. Maybe if she wanted him to know, she would tell him right away.

‘Well, travelling might be stressful but it’s totally worth it. And sometimes it only takes an hour car ride to spend a nice time in a new place’ he said with a soft smile, trying to let her know that he was enjoying himself.

‘Hard for me to tell. It’s been my first trip, coming here to Japan.’

‘Would you want to go somewhere else? A different continent for example?’ he asked, out of the corner of his eye watching as she rubbed her fingers one by one. Only then he could see that her pale hands turned somewhat purplish, which he couldn’t notice through the tinted sunglasses he’s been wearing. He reached out to carefully touch her hand and just as he expected, it felt chilled. ‘Hey, why aren’t you telling me that you’re cold?’

She smiled bashfully in response and shivered at his touch, shrugging and shaking her head instead of saying a word. Not thinking twice, he took off his jacket and held it for her to put on.

‘I’m fine’ Lorraine mouthed, looking at him with a troubled expression on her face.

‘It’s either the jacket or my hug’ he said before he gave it a second thought, immediately feeling the embarrassment creeping up to his face in a form of an awkward blush. The girl hesitated, biting on her lip and eventually accepting the jacket. He helped her put it on and watched her with a smile as she stuffed her hands into the vast pockets.

‘Thank you’ she mumbled nervously, bowing her head and letting the loose strands of her hair obscure her face in an absolutely adorable manner. She cleared her throat. ‘So, uh, I’ve never thought about it. The travelling.’

Kouyou nodded at her words. ‘Well, at your age, you probably don’t have much time for travelling.’

‘Time is the least of a problem. Even now, I’m having vacations. It’s just that… I don’t know, I don’t feel like I can handle it. The stress and exhaustment would probably be greater than the satisfaction from seeing new places.’

The girl had a point, as it was also something that concerned him before the tour overseas. Kouyou was already used to travelling around Japan to play concerts and going back to the times before his first trip abroad, he was also stressed to the point of feeling nauseous. Eventually it turned out much better than he anticipated, thanks to the managers and all the tour staff that helped them through, but if he had to go all by himself back then, he’d probably chicken out. 

‘From my personal experience I can only say that if the travel is well planned, it can decrease the amount of stress’ he said reassuringly and got up. Suddenly he had an urge to take a picture of the landscape and maybe make a post on his blog. ‘Speaking other languages also helps you a lot, I guess.’

‘Well, I’m not sure about that!’ she snickered. ‘Here in Japan it doesn’t change much. No one cares that some people might not understand Japanese.’

‘Does it really look that bad for a foreigner?’ he asked, a bit amused and a bit embarrassed for his own culture. He took a picture and went back to his sitting spot.

‘It was a quite different for me, since I understand the language. But initially it was quite a shock to just switch to another reality like that. Because of the staff at the airport my first impression was quite good, but everything that came after buying the shinkansen ticket only dashed all of my hopes’ she explained, taking out one of her hands from the pocket to pick up the sketchbook. She didn’t try drawing again, just shut it closed and tossed it into her bag with all the remaining supplies.

‘I suppose that’s because folks here feel uncomfortable speaking English. But it’s probably a huge inconvenience for people who come here, even for a trip.’

‘Well, a lot of things get translated, it becomes slightly more problematic during a conbini encounter, when you want to be nice to the cashier and respond with something more than a nod of the head’ she said with a smile and looked up at the sky. ‘How about you? Do you speak English.’

‘Not really. I understand a bit but can’t really speak it. So just like a stereotypical Japanese’ he admitted with a slight feeling of unease. Especially compared to the girl who spoke at least two languages fluently, he was somewhat ashamed of being restricted only to his mother tongue.

‘So it must be especially hard for you to travel! Here foreigners can depend on English translations, but abroad? They're also only translated to English. It’s good that you didn’t get lost somewhere in London, sometimes every intersection looks the same there’ she chuckled and got up to her feet. ‘Care for a bit of a walk?’

Kouyou had a very hard time holding back a grin and a tempting urge to embrace the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i get extra kudos for spending 4 hours scrolling google maps to find a nice roadtrip spot for them?
> 
> and also additional 2 hours figuring out which model of Chrysler Uruha had to not even mention it at all (it's a Chrysler 300C Touring from 2008..............)
> 
> thanks


End file.
